Rock of Agis

by Ben Doon & Phil McCracken

Radio telescopes in South America tracked a large rock that landed in Tierra Del Fuego last month. Hubble captured the image left as it whizzed by at 130,000 mph. Chico Zeppo of the institute of Argentine Repository Space Educazion (ARSE), was first on the scene with Peruvian colleague Biti Wry.

The rock is believed to have splintered from the planet Agis some 2.5 million years ago. The rock was first seen in the skies by Chinese star gazers in the 5th century. On impact the rock, largely composed of hard metals, was cleft in two. With the use of a Swiss army knife, Llama, and a roll of duct tape, the two intrepid South Americans were able to recover the rock for further research. Unfortunately they were robbed of the rock on their journey back by a US insurgent team who were in the area slaughtering the indigenous people in the name of peace.

Miles Tugo, of the Pennsylvanian Museum of Natural History, confirmed they had come into possession of the rock. He said he was working in his office when two large numb nut military types entered and ordered him to research it. Miles believes the metals may have special properties the military are keen to adopt. I am sure there are stealth properties to this rock. I hurled it at my assistant, Fanny Large, from behind and it rendered her unconscious - she simply didn't see it coming. When asked if the rock would be returned to the finders he replied in the negative, whilst laughing.