McFlurry - Out of This World

By Hugo Bloater-Large

The humble McFlurry, scourge of the chicken fast food chain, is said to owe its inception to things astral, and not the realisation that kids have been doing this stuff for decades. Astro Scientist, and closet Dorothy, Villi Chi of the Santiago Historical Institute of Terrestiality (SHIT) says there are many similarities to certain star systems and comets seen across the night sky, usually in the Northern hemisphere.

Giotto, he went on to explain, was a bit of a bugger for the mint pistachio with cocoa sprinkles in his time so there is some precedence there. To mark the great triumph of this 'taste sensation' dessert, McDonalds in conjunction with Cadbury and the European Space Agency have launched a probe bound for Uranus. Project Manager Jonnie John-John Jonnie John from Berne says they are going to land the probe on the surface, detonate it, and cover a large amount of frozen surface with crushed Crunchie.

The makers of Mars and Galaxy are said to be put out and may launch their own craft towards the Sun early next year. Wilhelm Crabbs PhD, of the Centre for Research and Astro Physics in Copenhagen explained, this is not a waste of $400m, we can monitor the landing and explosion and gain some valuable data. The chocolate covering on the surface will give scientists a target to assist in their observations. He went on to say however that the scene may resemble a shitty diaper!