Planet Zargg Mysteries
by Sonny Lunar
German scientists baffled by the mysteries of Zargg!
German scientists Krug Balbraker and Gunter Blitz reveal their bewilderment in the latest issue of New Scientist. Blitz and Balbraker believe the object (pictured), which closely resembles our sun (I shit you not), is actually a satellite of Zargg and therefore a moon. Its astonishing said Balbraker, just when you think you are ze smarty pants mit the high brow unt huge cranial capacity, and believe you know it all, along comes zis anomaly unt blows ones socks off - he went on to say.
Blitz agreed, jah, it is fantastique he said. He then went on to rant about the glorious German scientists putting the first man in space and the first man on the moon.
Ishi Achoo, Japans research astronomer at the Yukohama school of Astrological studies, believes the object is a moon that is approaching the gravitational field of Zargg and has been super heated. This super heating has started a nuclear reaction which is now self sustaining until destruction, and hence should be classified as a sun, which merely acts like a moon.
The German Space organisation De Funkt issued a statement calling for both German scientists to be given the Nobel Prize for their discovery.
